LAWS OF ATTRACTION !!

"Who did she kiss?" "Who likes who?" "Who did he ask for date?" " Did she sleep with him in her own home in the absence of her parents?"

The relationship gossip pervades the college drama scene. Because I'm abnormal and a sociology geek, I'm more interested in analyzing the gossip than paying attention to the content. To me, the way humans interact with each other based on their age, social affiliation, gender, etc. is fascinating. The relationship situation is the quandary that I find most perplexing, and it all boils down to attraction.

It's an extremely complex subject. "Why are we attracted to the people we are attracted to?" is a question that has no poetic answer. There are plenty of cliches that attempt to solve the problem, but they all leave gaping holes and could be easily refuted by the average middle schooler.

"Opposites attract" is a perfect example. Sure, men and women are opposites and are generally attracted to each other, but what about the principle of similarity and the generally undisputed matching hypothesis? It's been proven that we're most likely to select a partner who has similar values, ideals, interests, etc., but you didn't need a scientist to tell you that. How many computer geeks do you see taking the preppy, self-proclaimed princess to prom? Obviously, "opposites attract" has its limits, and is far too general of a statement to accurately address the issue of what attracts us.

It is my opinion that there needs to be a combination of similarity and difference in order for a relationship to be stable. Too much of the same can lead to boredom and won't push you to your limits and teach you about yourself, but possessing similar interests and values will provide healthy conversation and reduce fights. It seems to me that the most advantageous ratio is 3:1 in favor of similarity.

Until now, everything has been fairly straightforward and the perplexities have remained dormant. Simply mentioning the term "bad boy" or "naughty girl," however, unleashes a storm of controversy and dilemma. We're all aware of our infatuation with the people we shouldn't even consider as a potential partner, but I've yet to find a solid explanation of why this happens. Logically, we shouldn't be attracted to these people. We even recognize this in most cases. From an objective standpoint, it's simple: don't get involved. But this is where emotion gets in the way and clouds our judgment. Why do our emotions contradict our brains in this instance, and which should we trust?

The most constant factor seems to be how hot the other person is. There aren't too many bad boys who are scrawny and wear thick glasses and sweaters their grandmother gave them . Beauty, our view conditioned by society, appeals to our sexual instinct. Because of the great power of instinct, this makes up for a lot of shortcomings in other areas, such as intelligence and kindness.

As a society, we idolize those who look good on the cover of Fashion magazine. Consequently, physically attractive people tend to climb the social ladder with ease, skipping rungs that delay the nerds for years. We send the message that you can do whatever you want if you're hot enough, and you can pick whoever you want to sleep with. The attractive individual gets cocky and starts testing the boundaries. Add a little oregano, and, presto, you've got yourself a bona fide bad boy. All the girls go wild for this guy, despite the fact that he's a jerk. Reversing the genders provides the same effect.

My own best friend is in love (as he claims to be,though it's Infatuation)with a girl who's apathy to his feelings and is in complete contrast to his nature.He fell for her simply because she has the charms,the beauty and the aura that has made many go weak in knees including him though she has oodles of attitude that would put even Cleopatra to shame.Yet despite all the difference he still is hung over her and is obstinate enough to get over her despite knowing that she could never be his because he doesn't have those hot Greek God looks. Though he is down to earth at heart and I'm damn sure that he would be the one who would be the most faithful and honest she could have in her whole lifetime yet .....Nothing can change the reality ....LOOKS DO MATTER .He dreams of them relishing Gol Gappes at Lajpat Nagar and strolling around in streets of Shimla(So Cheezy and corny).I just hope that he gets over because I just don't want to see him heart broken when he in future sees her with other man .

" Handsome is one who handsome does" saying is obliterated in this era and is considered ostrich.

It seems to me that relationships would be a lot more successful if we took most of the emphasis off of looks and placed it on personality traits. After all, beauty fades in the end, while other traits remain. If only there was some way to channel our emotion infatuation and direct it towards the individual that logic tells us to pick.

Just my thoughts on the subject. I'm still kind of developing my stance, so I might add something later. Any ideas?

HOW TO FLIRT : LESSON ONE !!

My three year old niece is the funniest person I know. Seriously. No one in the world can make me laugh the way she does. The things that come out of her mouth sometimes shock and surprise me, but often make me double over in laughter. I remember a story her mother told me once, where she was trying to get my niece to go to sleep. Her mother laid down, feigning a yawn and said, "Oh, I'm sleepy." My niece countered, "I'm Bashful!" These are the kinds of funny things that happen with her all the time.

Granted, I may be a bit biased. I love this kid as if she were my own. She is the little ray of sunshine that brightens up my life. She is sweet and kind and caring, and wise beyond her years. To top it off, she is a laugh-riot and most fun to be around.

The other night, the family and I all went out to dinner for my dad's birthday. When we go out to dinner, my niece is usually pretty shy with the waitstaff. This could be because we tell her that "the man", usually a host or a waiter, is going to get her when she is bad. Don't judge us. She's three and it keeps her in line (usually).

This particular night, however, my niece appears to be sweet on our waiter. When he comes to take our drink order, she tells him what she wants to drink and shows him a "magic trick" that she made up, involving a cracker and her breaking it in half. When he comes back with our drinks, she thanks him and gives him googley eyes. Every time this waiter comes to our table, my little niece is trying to engage him in conversation.

We all laugh at this as well as other funny things she does. For instance, my brother (her dad), who rarely drinks, orders a beer. While she is playing with some toy or other at the table, he takes another toy and hides it. Kidding around with her, he asks her where it went. "You took it, you dirty drunk," she says, causing all of us to laugh so loud that people at other tables look at us in that "What's so fucking funny?" way.

Near the end of the meal, the waiter comes over to clear the plates. My niece, who is sitting on my lap by this point, turns to face him.

"Hey, sweetheart," he says, "How was your dinner?"

"It was a very nice dinner. Thank you," she says politely and I well up with pride at little Miss Manners sitting on my lap.

The waiter continues to pile up dishes. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," he says.

"I love you," says my niece.

While this is funny in and of itself, it is not the first time this has happened. A week or two ago, we had ordered pizza and she insisted on coming to the door to get it. She didn't say a word to the pizza delivery guy, but after I gave him the money and said thanks, she blurted out, "Thank you! I love you!" Perhaps she is just grateful for food or likes men in the food services industry, I don't know.

What made this particular profession of love funny was that when she said she loved him, I looked down at her, and there she was, all googley eyes again, with her finger stuck up her nose! When we all started laughing hysterically, she got embarrassed and tried to crawl under my shirt, causing yet another embarrassing situation.

I must say, however, that the waiter took her pronouncement of love for him well, even gave her a lollipop afterwards. Problem is, we're going to have to teach her a thing or two about flirting. Lesson one: Don't pick your nose while professing your love for someone.

I think it's a good lesson for all of us to learn.

Boring your date!!!

I know this sounds obvious but, some people can stay longer in an hour than others do in a month. When it comes to dates, there is really no such thing as meeting a good or bad person, the real issue is, are they charming or tedious? One quick way to be tedious is to talk too much about yourself. There are very few people who do not become more interesting when they stop talking. Besides, people find it much more impressive when they discover your good qualities without your help. A sure fire way to be interesting on a date, is to be interested.